Rain Comes Tumbling Down
by theonlyxception
Summary: "Now you've got me wondering after this whole nightmare, I wonder what's going to shake out of me?" The nagging feeling returned from earlier, followed by a question of 'what if you don't live' Alternate version to 1x9 "If Tomorrow Never Comes"
1. If Tomorrow Never Comes

It felt like one big nightmare I kept reliving, kept repeating both in and out of my dreams. Everything leading up to this moment was there like a big red sign begging me to pay attention to what was in front of me. Some pivotal moments were Juliette's plane crash, Randall taking the trinket box from my desk, Carl Hockney sneaking into my office and holding a knife to my throat. Last but not least, the injuries caused by my car accident now keeping me confined to this hospital bed.

Two days ago, I was wheeled into the hospital in critical condition, with a crush injury to my pelvis and proximal femur. I spent over four hours in surgery to repair the damage to both, only to crash again during Daphne's private performance of "Make You Feel My Love". From there I was hooked up to a dialysis machine when my kidneys were failing. I was on the edge of death and no one believed I was going to survive. At one point when I saw my mother sitting there beside my hospital bed, I thought maybe they had a point and I wasn't going to live another day.

Feeling that cloud of doom that lingered over my head, only pushed that nagging voice forward as I struggled with the thought of not being here on earth anymore. I would no longer get to kiss my husband. No longer wrap my arms around Daphne and Maddie when they needed a shoulder to cry on. No more writing songs in the middle of the night. Heck, I wouldn't even be able to see this album with Deacon come to life.

So in a way, as people trickled in and out of my room, I pushed back the feeling and listened to their soul with all my heart. I learned something new about each one of them, especially Juliette, who I often struggled to find common ground with. It was hard to believe that when I first met her, she was shoplifting and getting into trouble at every turn. Now she was married, had a beautiful baby girl and was really turning her life around. I had been hoping beyond hope that I would get a glimpse of who she could become. Looks like I had gotten my wish just in the knick of time.

"Someone needs to tell Nurse Rachet to relax." Juliette unexpectedly hobbled into my room, clutching a silver gift bag in her left hand.

"Hi."

"Is this a bad time?" She carefully sat on the edge of my bed, her gaze determined and worried probably at the sight of me. I tried to laugh but it probably came out lame more than anything. I was beyond exhausted due to my injuries, the constant flow of nurses and doctors checking up on me and the million different medications running through my IV. My own bed sounded pretty darn good about now.

"Brought you something." She dangled a purple sleep mask by the strings in my direction as she pulled it out of the bag.

"Oh. That's nice. You didn't have to do that."

"Eye mask. Saved my life when I was laying where you are now. Nurses coming in every five minutes. The lights flickering." She pointed towards the lights which chose that exact time to flicker and then stop. I sure wouldn't miss these lights when I left this place, nor the constant beeping of the monitors that helped sustain my life.

"Yeah, I'm not getting a lot of sleep around here." Among other simple things, I took for granted all these years, like breathing, walking, going to the bathroom. Most of those things weren't going to happen anytime soon, and I knew Juliette could relate to that.

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know-"

"Yeah, I do know." Juliette agreed, the fear rising in the back of her mind. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking about because if it was the same thing I was thinking about, she was flashing back to the moment her life changed forever.

"Thought you were going to be off those by now." I efficiently changed the subject as I pointed out the black crutches leaning against her body.

"Oh, both you and me, girl." She joked lightly, looking down at the crutches. Something about the way she joked about it was off, which meant in Juliette's terms there was so much more to the story than she was saying.

"What's the holdup?"

"You know, I don't want to talk about me right now." She skirted my question for the time being, and I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever get the true answers to this conversation. Probably wouldn't ever get the answers, but if I did get the chance, Juliette and I would be having a deeper heart to heart with each other later on.

"But you're so much better than I am."

"I know. That's not why I'm here." And that's when I gazed at her with a look of amazement, while she tried to read the expression on my battered face.

"What?"

"You've changed."

"I have?"

"It's like when you fell out of the sky, something shook out of you." I stated profoundly, not knowing where those words had just come from, but I knew they had to be said before they couldn't be said anymore.

"About time, right?"

"Now you've got me wondering after this whole nightmare, I wonder what's going to shake out of me?" The nagging feeling returned from earlier, followed by a question of 'what if you don't live?'

"Something good." She happily stated without missing a beat. With the nagging feeling pressing me down, I couldn't help feel my heart sink at the positivity in her voice. I wished beyond stars that I could believe what she was saying was true. I wished I could believe something good could come out of this moment, but I didn't.


	2. Walking On Clouds

_I don't remember much about what happened that day, other than the fact that I flatlined and saw my mother for the second time that day. This time she was dressed in a long flowing white gown with open arms as she awaited my arrival._

 _"Momma." My heart swelled as the words got caught in my throat. It had been too many years since I had seen her last, and then it occurred to me that Daphne was only a year older than I had been when I had lost my own mother. "I've been waiting so many years to see you again."_

 _"I know, darling." She gave me that dazzling smile she reserved only for times she was extremely proud, which she gave a lot to Tandy and me were younger. "I want you to know I've been with you all along." She brushed her hand through my strawberry locks as a tear rolled down my cheek._

 _"Everything."_

 _"All the big moments in your life." She brushed her fingers through my hair again before embracing me in a hug. "And let's face it, you've had a lot of those moments." She pulled me back by the shoulders, taking a serious look at who I had become. I just hoped she liked who I had become._

 _"Rayna."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Do you know why I named you, Rayna?"_

 _"I always thought you named me after someone and that you would tell me one day. Then you passed away and honestly I didn't think much about it after that. I didn't want to think about it after you left."_

 _"Your name literally means queen." She smiled proudly, kissing me gently on the forehead. "And I named you Rayna because you have always been loyal to everyone around you, whether they deserved it or not."_

 _"I don't know about that." I shook my head, not really believing or understanding why she was here. Sure I had wanted to see her again for so long, but now I wondered if she was here to take me away. "I've made my share of mistakes."_

 _"Don't sell yourself short. You are an amazing woman with a career and an amazing family."_

 _"I think you mean was. Past tense. I was a woman with a career and an amazing family. But I don't know why I'm here, momma." I shrugged in confusion, the clouds parting in one section of the sky, revealing a one story house that looked more like a church or school house floating on the clouds._

 _"Oh, honey." She chuckled, which put a smile on my face when it reminded me of being a kid, and she would grab my hand as we walked through a field of flowers. We would talk about everything from music to boys. It was glorious having my mother all to myself, even for a little while."This is your dream. You still have the power to make a decision here. It may not seem like you do, but you do have a choice to live."_

 _"How?"_

 _"You fight like I know you can." She brushed my cheek with her thumb as if she were trying to preserve this moment forever. "You were never one to let people tell you what to do, so don't start now. If you want to live, you fight and you don't ever stop fighting, no matter how hard it gets."_

 _"I love you, momma."_

 _"I love you." She pulled me into another tight hug, and I couldn't help but lay my head on her shoulder. "You are the queen of my heart, Rayna Jaymes. I know you will continue to make me proud whatever you choose to do."_

 _I took a moment to think about it before lifting my head off her shoulder. "I want to live."_

 _"I know you do, honey." She turned to face to me with a concerned look on her expression. "Just know that when you do, it's not going to be easy."_

 _"Is life ever easy?"_

 _"No, it's not."_

 _"Did you see the two teenage girls I'm raising?"_

 _"I have. And in fact, they're not much different than their momma." Shooting me an amused smile, she gave me a friendly shoulder bump. "Or their aunt. You guys raised more hell than your father and I wanted sometimes. And as hard as it is to watch Maddie raising it herself, and sometimes even Daphne too, they know you love them."_

 _"I know they love me."_

 _"Honey, are you having second thoughts about going back?"_

 _"I don't know, momma. It's just what if I can no longer give Maddie and Daphne the things they need?"_

 _"Because you're injured?" She shook her head as if to tell me not to be worried. "You've been in a car accident once before and lost your voice." Touching my cheek, I watched her take a step back towards the white house. "I promise you can find it again."_

 _"Just where do you suggest I look?"_

 _"I think you already know the answer that question." She called over her shoulder with one final smile as she continued walking towards the house and opened the doors to a whole new beginning. There was a blinding light, then it faded to black as I finally opened my eyes again to see Deacon,_ Daphne _and Maddie standing around me._

 _Although I had heard this song a million times, their voices seemed even more angelic this time around. However, this time there was no smiling as they sang. Instead, there were tears streaming down their cheeks, shock registered on their faces as they watched what I was going to do next._

 _I sucked in a deep breath, wishing that I could get up off the bed and tell them everything was going to be okay. To tell them I was going to fight like hell to get back to them because I wanted to, not because I had to._

 _Okay, so I had to. I had to fight to get back to them. I wanted to be back with them so bad that it hurt to_ breathe _. What was I doing in this hospital again? It made no sense and I really wanted to know, but before I could find out everything went black._


	3. Winding Road

_What the heck was I doing here? What other reason did I have to be here in the clouds once again? What happened to the hospital and my family? I felt like I was in a haze as I stood there in my black heels and white floral shirt, the same outfit I had been wearing when I had been in the car accident._

 _The car accident. Of course! That's why I was here. I more like severely injured if I was in a place like this._

 _"I know that look." My father appeared out of nowhere, sporting a gray suit and plain red tie. "You're ticked off at something."_

 _"I'm not ticked off." My strawberry curls bounced around as I shook my head in disagreement. "I'm just trying to figure out why I'm here."_

 _"Rayna, you're here because right now you're between life and death." He said simply as if me dying was nothing to him. It was everything to me that I was dying. I didn't want to die. It made the anger rise in me that he didn't seem to care._

 _"Well, that's too bad, because I'm not going anywhere."_

 _"You always were a go-getter." He smirked, the corner of his lips raising as he loosened the tie around his neck. "Rayna, can I ask you a question?"_

 _"Mmm."_

 _"Are you happy?"_

 _"Am I happy?" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I crossed my arms across my chest. "You mean, am I happy right now?"_

 _"Yeah, honey."_

 _"Am I happy I was pulled away from my friends and family?" I began to feel super irritated, now pressing my hand to my hip. "No, I'm not. Frankly, I'm angry because I'm not with my family. I'm angry at myself because I put myself in this mess. I should have never gone to the office-"_

 _"Rayna-"_

 _"I should have never stopped by the_ office. _" I stated with so much regret in the tone of my voice as I brushed my hand over my forehead, then put my hand over my chest._ "I can't...I can't catch my breath."

"That's because you're fighting for your life right now." My father warned me, the tie now hanging from his neck. "You need to breathe. Please breathe, Rayna."

"Please breathe, Rayna." It took me a moment to realize my father was no longer standing before me. Instead, it was Deacon, Daphne, and Maddie, sobbing uncontrollably as they stood around my bedside. "Please don't leave us." He pleaded with me, and I instantly wished I could promise him I wouldn't leave them again.

"Her pulse is stabilizing." My doctor announced as everyone in the room seemed to stare at the monitors in amazement, and the beeping ceased as I felt the air return to my chest.

"What does that mean?" Deacon held tightly onto Daphne and Maddie, who looked equally as stunned as they stood there at the foot of my bed. Of course, that could have been my imagination running away with me because I couldn't seem to focus on anything right now.

"It means she's not out the woods just yet." My doctor tried to explain to him, looking quite perplexed as he shot a glance my way. "I have no explanation to why she's still lying on that bed right now, but she is."

"I don't understand. What does that mean?" Maddie spoke up, wiping at the tears streaking her cheeks.

"It means we won't know anything until we do further testing."

"Further testing?" Maddie rounded the corner of the bed and squeezed my hand tightly, with no chance of her letting go for the remainder of this conversation with the good doctor.

"Because it took almost ten minutes for your mother to start breathing, we will be testing for brain function. We will be working to stabilize her blood pressure, and looking for any further complications that could cause problems further down the road."

"Does that mean she's going to be alright?" Daphne finally raised her head up from the chair she was sitting in.

"For the time being, yes. We won't know anything until we run the tests. I'll let you know what we find."

"Thank you, Dr. Fowler." Deacon said quietly as the doctor placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, before exiting the room and taking his place on the other side of the bed. "Hey, Ray." He looked down at me with the sweetest smile as he tenderly brushed his fingers through my hair. "I missed you. The girls missed you. The doctor says you're holding up. I want you to keep doing that, okay?"

I gave him a weak nod. It was all I could manage at the moment, even though I wished I could do more. Despite the partially good news, I glanced at my husband who was trying hard to be strong for me and the girls. I looked at Maddie by my side as she tried hard not to cry. I looked over at Daphne who looked lost and confused as she sat there huddled in the chair.

"I love you, Mom." Maddie stated with fresh tears in her eyes as she squeezed my hand even tighter. "You get some rest. We'll be back in the morning." I tried hard to silently convey my love to her through the look in my eye, but as she turned away I'm not sure she understood the message.

"I love you." Daphne mouthed to me, raising her sleeve to her mouth in apprehension. I didn't blame her. Now that I was alive, I was scared that I would go right back down that winding road towards death and I would never see them again if I closed my eyes.

"They're both scared." Deacon read my thoughts as we both looked towards the now empty doorway. "Give them some time to process this." Leaning down to my level, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and forced a smile for my benefit. "Get some rest, sweetheart."


	4. Pipe Dream

_As I fell into a deep slumber, I found myself dressed in a white dress that fell to my knees and a scooping neckline, accented by a simple gold chain holding a small pink pendant. Despite the quarter sleeves on the dress, the chilling air didn't seem to faze me as I walked in the soggy grass._

 _My stomach twisted in knots as I stood on the other side of the white casket, and I felt miles away from my loved ones. Deacon, the girls, my sister, even my ex-husband had come together to mourn my passing._

 _"You didn't let me finish earlier." My father appeared beside me, now dressed in a black suit; his peppered hair neatly combed to the side of his head as we watched Deacon give his remarks at my grave site._

 _"Why are you here, dad?"_

 _"I came to say I'm sorry for everything I put you and your sister through while I was alive."_

 _"And you thought showing me my funeral would help with your apology?"_

 _"No. The heavy medication your doctor has you on has caused you to hallucinate your fears." He paused to look at me as if he knew something I didn't, then pulled out an umbrella as it began to rain harder. "I'm just here temporarily until you wake up from dreaming."_

 _"You would think I would be used to funerals by now. I went to mom's when I was twelve, then yours and now mine."_

 _"This time it's different." He turned to face me as he let a hand rest on my shoulder. "You knew something they didn't." He pointed to Deacon, who had just finished giving his speech and closed the leather book he was holding in his hand. "And now, this is your mind's way of rationalizing the possibility of death."_

 _"I can't accept death as my reality."_

 _"Then you'd better hold on, sweetheart. You are in for a very bumpy ride."_

 _"Is life ever not bumpy?"_

 _"No, it's not." He gave a short chuckle as he looked on at the sight in front of him as every single person took turns putting flowers on my grave after the dedication, and we watched as the water soaked through the delicate colored petals. "I have one more thing to tell you before you leave, and it's important you listen."_

 _"I'm all ears."_

 _"Your family is going to need you more than ever." He gave a nod towards the girls finally following Scarlett towards the car parked in the nearby lot, which left Deacon standing alone at my grave. "Don't push them away when life gets rough, and it is going to be rough for all of you."_

 _"I have no doubt in my mind that it won't be." I sighed, already recognizing the pain flowing through my body, which was a sure doubt my medication was already wearing off._

 _"I love you, Rayna." Pulling me in for a side hug, he gently kissed my cheek before stepping beside an old oak tree._

 _"I love you too."_

 _"Tell your sister and the girls I say hello."_

 _"I will."_

It took a moment to adjust to the fact I was no longer dreaming as I stared at the white walls of my hospital room filled with noisy machines I wished were really my husband and children standing there beside me. Oh, how I wanted them to be here right now. My eyes scanned the room, finally falling upon Deacon's sleeping figure on the couch and it calmed me knowing I wasn't alone.

I tried hard to focus on the features I had grown to love but found myself staring at the deep purple bags underneath his eyes, the wrinkles of worry that had settled into his skin, and the way his body twitched as he slept. In a way, it was a bit unsettling. I had spent years picking up telling signs when he was beyond worried. This time, I knew it was me that had caused this heartache in him.

"Rayna Jaymes. It's good to see you awake." A nurse wearing wired glasses over her dark brown hair whispered as she checked my vitals then looked over at Deacon with a smile. "You've got quite the man over there. He hasn't left your side since you got here."

"Mm..." Was all I could get manage to choke out as I laid there helplessly in bed. Maybe it was the medication or the fogginess in my brain but I was starting to get sleepy again.

"You in any pain?"

"No. Just tired." I rasped, even surprising myself at the fact I had a voice. It had been awhile since I had said anything. It didn't even sound like my voice. It felt weird and foreign, like I was just opening my mouth and the voice was coming from a completely different person.

"We have you on some pretty heavy medication right now. On a scale from 1 to 10, how's your pain?

"Mmm. Three." I choked out again, swallowing hard as I worked on focusing on my attention to how my body worked or rather how my body worked now I had been injured. I moved my fingers first, slowly tapping them on the tan colored blanket hugging my broken body.

"You sure? We can give you more medication if you need it."

"Crystal. I think I'm just going to sleep this one off." I muttered with a small smile, upon hearing Deacon stirring in the corner. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She pressed the button that would release a dose of medication into my hand and walked out of the room as Deacon sat up and rubbed his hands over his cheeks. When his gaze finally fell upon me, he looked relieved as he slowly approached the bed.

"Look who finally woke up." He brushed his hand over my cheek and I inhaled the smell of his musky cologne."You gave us quite the scare."

"Where are the girls?"

"They're okay." He did his best to soothe me as my rising heart rate was indicated on the monitor. "Scarlett took them home a couple hours ago to they could get some sleep in their own beds."

"Oh." I hope I didn't sound too disappointed. I was disappointed. I wanted nothing other than to hold my girls in my arms once again.

"I know they'll want to see you too." He pressed a kiss to my forehead as he sat in the floral chair sitting next to my bed. "Scarlett is going to stay with them and she will bring them to the hospital in the morning."

"Good." I felt the warmth of his hand over my hand as my eyelids began to grow heavy as if he were a warm blanket wrapping around me. "I feel so tired."

"Sleep, baby. I will be right here with you." Deacon promised as sleep took over once again.


	5. Anchor

My eyes took a minute to adjust and to see Maddie biting on her finger as she flipped through the book in her hand. She looked lost in her thoughts and it allowed me a moment to think about how quickly she had grown up. I didn't have long because she broke away from her thoughts, marked the page she was on and set the book in her lap.

"Mom?" Her lips parted as if she couldn't believe I was really here. Frankly, I couldn't believe it either. I still felt so foggy from the medications and it was always an odd sensation to switch back and forth from dreams to reality.

"Maddie." I scooted my hands stiffly over to hers as she leaned against the bed. She pulled her hand away, only to surprise me by squeezing my hand back tightly, the same way she had when I had felt like I was drifting away, and I began to understand my family had been an anchor for me staying put right here on earth. "Hey, come here and give your mother a hug."

"I am so sorry." Tears welled up in her eyes as she buried her head in the crook of my neck. "I have been a complete jerk to you when all you wanted to do was help me."

"Oh, honey." I felt the pain radiating through her body as she wrapped her her arms around me in comfort. "I will always love you, no matter what you do." She nodded, wiping away with the tears from her eyes.

"I promise I will be better." She whispered, her voice breaking as she stayed hidden and nestled into me.

"I know you will." Slowly turning my head, I pressed a kiss against her forehead and patted the empty space on the bed. "Come here." It took her a minute to lift her head as she dried her tears and gingerly climbed in beside me.

The room fell silent as we both tried to figure out what to do or say next. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay. I sensed she wanted to say more, but she continued to play with the corner of my gown instead of talking, so I didn't push the conversation any further. Instead, I leaned my cheek against her head and closed my eyes.

I was nearly in a dream state when I heard their voices echoing down the hall. I wasn't sure how much time has passed since we had been lying here together, but by her steady breathing, I knew it was long enough for her to fall asleep on me.

"Hi." He mouthed, leaning against the door frame as Daphne slipped past him to sit in the chair on the other side of my bed.

"Hi." I whispered back as he gestured over to Daphne, who looked like she was trying to be brave, but on the inside, she looked beyond scared and I couldn't imagine the questions or thoughts swirling through her mind right now. "What's going through that mind of yours, huh?" I inquired, just as I had a flashback back to the moment I had started to go downhill.

"Are you really going to be okay?" She asked tentatively, with so much worry in the tone of her voice that I knew she had been thinking about that question for awhile.

"I'm going to be okay." I stated, not really knowing if that was true. However, I wanted to comfort her in the best way I knew how at the moment. "It's going to take a lot more before I leave this world without all of you. How have you been doing in school?"

"Okay, I guess. I got all the homework I missed in my classes, so I worked a little in the car"

"That's good. You miss a lot?"

"A test. Mostly just homework. I brought it just in case we stay for awhile." She pointed to her blue bag peeking out from the door frame. "Which by the looks of it, we'll be staying until Maddie wakes up."

"I'm not sure how I feel about you two missing any more school."

"I'd rather be here." Daphne muttered, dragging her backpack across the room as she opened it as she sat back down in the chair.

"Hey." Deacon sighed as he used this time to approach me and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "How are you?"

"I guess it's appropriate to say I'm hanging in there." I teased lightly as we watched Daphne as she pulled her book into her lap and began doing her homework. "Thanks for holding down the fort while I'm away from home."

"You're welcome."

"Things going okay?" As our eyes met, I begged him to tell me the honest truth. Maddie never fell asleep like this on me, and even though Daphne had wanted to spend more time with her friends lately, not even she wanted to leave. I wanted to chalk it up to the fact this was the first time they had seen me awake since the accident. Or even the fear, if they left something would happen to me.

"Yeah." He shook his head, silently promising me we would talk about things later when the girls weren't within earshot of our conversation. "What do you want to do about Maddie?"

"I guess, let her sleep. It looks like she could use it."

"You sure?"

"Not really." I half shrugged, feeling the pain starting to settle in my bones. "But it looks like she's really out. If she wakes up soon, we can just write her a note and send to school later."

"Does that mean I get to go to school late?" Daphne inquired, not looking up from her book as she neatly filled in a line on her worksheet.

"No, I want you to at school. You can finish your homework when you come back after school."

"Fine." Daphne closed her book with a thud, shoving it into her backpack and adjusted the strap over her shoulder.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She gave my cheek a fleeting kiss and walked out into the hall without giving so much a goodbye. "Have a good day."

"She'll be okay." Deacon promised as he rounded the bed and leaned over the bed to kiss me. "We'll talk about this when I get back."

"Okay. Drive safely."

"I will."


	6. From the Heart

I stared at the same hospital walls in irritation. At the same time, I was so happy to be alive. I was happy to have Maddie beside me; Daphne and Deacon too. I was lucky to be alive, and I didn't need anyone to tell me that. But I felt like there was so much I was missing being stuck here in the hospital.

"What time is it?" Maddie lifted her head, blearily looking towards the furthest wall of the room. "Ten o'clock? I didn't think I would sleep that long. Why didn't someone try to wake me?"

"Your father and I thought you could use the sleep."

"Well, thanks." She ran a hand through her blonde hair to smooth out her bed head from lying next to me. "I guess I really needed it."

"You been sleeping okay?"

"Not really." She frowned, then shrugged as she turned her head away from me so I couldn't read the expression on her face. "Even though Dad, Daphne, and Scarlett are staying at the house, it still feels weird and empty without you there."

"I know." I focused on flexing my fingers back and forth. which had my mind flashing back to the moments after I had woken up from my coma. Mostly how stiff and weak my hands felt after waking, how much my body ached after being jolted in the accident, or how I never thought I would have to feel that kind of pain ever again. "I'll be home before you know it."

"You really think so?"

"I do. How are things going between you and Clay?"

"Okay, I guess." Maddie shrugged indifferently, like talking about her boyfriend wasn't a big deal. "He's trying to be there for me as much as possible in his own way, but I think it's awkward for him too. He doesn't really know what to do in this situation with you, and I don't blame him. I don't know what to do either."

"I'm afraid no one does." I paused, watching her in concern as she exhaled sharply and collapsed into the chair next to the bed. "Not even me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we're all walking into uncharted territory. And when I say we-I mostly mean you, me, your Dad and Daphne." I swallowed dryly as I focused on moving my wrist back and forth but I couldn't keep my hand up for long. "We're going to need to find a way to navigate it together, but I'm going to need your help."

"Mom?"

"Yeah."

"How long do you think you'll have to be here?" Her eyes shifted towards the floor as if she were embarrassed or even unsure if this was the right question to ask me.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Last time I was in the hospital for four weeks. I'm not counting on them letting me out before then. I broke two major bones in my body this time, so I'm probably looking at some significant downtime."

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Not really." I blinked back the sleep knowing I had stretched being awake a lot longer than I had been in the last couple days. However, I felt like it was important to have this conversation with my daughter. "The medicine coursing through my veins is taking care of that."

"I guess Dad is on his way over to the hospital." She held up her phone with the text from Deacon on the screen. The words were foggy, most likely due to tiredness or the medication I was on, but I nodded anyway. "He says he'll take me to school if I want."

"Do you want to?"

"I should. I have a test in fourth period and I shouldn't miss it." Standing from her seat, she stuffed a few books and a binder into her gray colored backpack and set it against the wood of the chair. s

"That's not what I asked."

"I don't really feel like going, but I've been studying for this test for the past three days. It would kind of be a waste if I didn't go for at least my last three classes." Giving a reluctant nod, I could tell she was trying to gear herself up for going to school when her thoughts were elsewhere.

I felt my eyes slip closed as the silence fell once more between us. Then I felt her hand brush against mine and I stirred from my slumber. "I know I don't say this a lot, but I want you to know I love you." Her lips lingered on my forehead before she slipped out of the room.

 _As her footsteps faded away, I found myself floating away from the hospital setting and into a field of sunflowers. My white t-shirt ripping in the slight breeze of a summer day; the sky bluer than my skinny jeans and the stalks brushing against my black knee boots as I stumbled onto an open beach filled with the whitest sand I had ever seen in my life._

 _"Wow. This view is amazing."_

 _"Isn't it?" Deacon's sister, Beverly appeared from the other side of the towering sunflowers and stood beside me as I admired the blue ocean waves that went on for miles. "You've just stepped into paradise."_

 _"What are you doing here, Beverly?"_

 _"To think it took death to realize how much you've done for my family." She sighed heavily as she lifted her hands up and let them fall to her side. "Scarlett idolizes you. And I don't think I've ever seen Deacon more madly in love with someone than he is with you."Pausing the conversation, she took a few minutes to admire the horizon. "What I'm trying to say is you've helped a lot of people over the years, including me. So if you're wondering if you should live, I would tell you you're getting a second chance that most of us will never get. The more I watch from heaven, the more I realize you're the glue holding them all together."_

 _"I guess I never thought of that last part like that."_

 _"You may feel helpless sitting in that hospital bed, but the people you love are going to need you now more than ever and you're going to need them."_

 _"Sometimes I think they'll need me more than I need them."_

 _"We both know that's not true." Nudging me, she grinned widely as my dream faded back to reality._


	7. The Rivers Between Us

"Mmm.." I pushed passed my grogginess as I faded back into reality, slowly opening my eyes to watch Deacon deep in his thoughts as he stared at the farthest wall in the room. "A penny for your thoughts?"

"You're awake." He gave me a brave smile, but deep inside I could see the worry in his expression. "How are you feeling?"

"Why does no one answer my questions."

"Sorry."

"Mhm." I tried to laugh at his apology, but it seemed like everything hurt when I did. "Pretty much the same-weak and groggy from all the medications pumping through me. "How long was I asleep?"

"Four hours."

"And the girls?"

"Are at home with Scarlett. She said she would bring them by after dinner."

"Alright. And how long have you been here at the hospital?" He shot me a little smile because he knew I him all too well. Oh man, if he only knew how much I wanted to erase those worry lines and tell him everything was going to be okay.

"For about three hours."

"You know they need you too."

"Hmm?"

"The girls. They need you as much as I do."

"No, actually they need their mother." He cupped my hand tightly in his like he never wanted to let go. "You always knew just how to take care of them, and I don't feel like I do. Honestly, I'm having a hard time with it."

"I wish I could do more."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be worrying you with all this. You should be focusing on getting better and coming home to us."

"You know that's not how I work." I tried to coax him to say more, but he just hung his head. "Hey, I may be stuck in this hospital bed, but I can probably help with whatever it is that is rolling around in that head of yours. Now, spill."

"I don't know how you do it. With the girls, the business, everyone around you. I feel like my head is constantly spinning and I'm never going to catch my breath."

"I take care of myself first. Or at least I try to. Have you ever heard the expression, you can't take care of anybody else if you don't take care of yourself?"

"I have."

"You're not thinking of drinking again, are you?"

"Trust me, I've thought about it. Mostly I lay there in an empty bed at night, too exhausted to move."

"That's because you're running yourself into the ground. You're driving back and forth to the hospital, home, Highway 65, and taking the girls to school. I know Scarlett is staying at the house, but are you letting her do anything?"

He chuckled softly, wiping at the tears caused by his laughter. "She does a lot actually. Personally, I don't think I could have survived this long without her. She does the dishes, makes sure the kids do their homework and keeps the house running."

"Mmm...sounds like she's a keeper."

"She's a lifesaver." Deacon smiled down at me, before glancing towards the empty doorway. "Why don't you get some sleep? I know the girls will want to see and talk with you when they get here."

"Sleep sounds great right about now." My eyes grew heavier, even though I longed to talk to him more. There was still so much I knew he wasn't saying; things he didn't want me to worry about because I was trying to recover. "I still want to talk about things later," I muttered, falling into a deep sleep once again.

As I woke up again, I blearily opened my eyes to see Daphne and Maddie sitting next to each other. Maddie busy reading her book again and Daphne was doing her best to concentrate and work on her homework. She was the first to see me, her notebook snapping closed as she set it down on the chair and walked up to the bed, while Maddie held back and set her book in her lap.

"Mom?"

"Hey, honey." I reached out my hand as Daphne sat in the one chair next to the bed. "How are you doing?"

"Okay."

"Yeah? You seemed pretty upset this morning." Daphne shrugged at me, pulling her hand through her sleeve and leaned her chin against her hand. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"What about you Maddie, how are things going with you today?"

"Good. I think I aced my test, and I'm almost finished reading my book for English."

"That's great honey. Sounds like you're really on track with your homework."

"Thanks. I'm really trying to catch up on everything I missed. In fact, I think I'm going to grab a soda so I can stay awake long enough to finish it."

"Sure, honey." Getting out of her seat, Daphne tried to grab her arm, pleading for her not to leave her but Maddie mouthed talk to her and walked out of the room. Slightly disappointed, Daphne turned back towards me and sunk in her seat. "Daphne. Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"I just wish you were home, that's all."

"Have a seat." Patting the empty place by me on the bed, she looked at me hesitantly before climbing up on the bed and putting her head on my chest. "I know things aren't easy for you, or your sister or for Deacon. As much as I want to be home with all of you, you know that's not going to be possible for awhile." I nuzzled into her, the sweet smell of her hair caused me to smile. "And even though I'm stuck in this hospital bed, I want you to know I'm still here for you, okay?"

"Okay." Was all she said as she nuzzled closer to me, her sleeve over her mouth as we sat there silently. No doctors, no nurses coming in made things seem pretty peaceful at the moment, and that's just the way I liked it when it came to my family. "Mom?"

"Yeah, honey."

"Do you think I could stay here tonight?"

"I would like to say yes to that question, but I don't think that ones up to me, sweetheart." Placing a kiss on her forehead, I felt her body tense up at my response. I knew she was disappointed without looking at her. I mean, how fair was it to have your big sister able to skip school and she wasn't able to do the same?

"I wish it was."

"I mean, we can ask-"

"Really?"

"Yes. Tomorrow is a school day, so no promises. And if he agrees, you and I need to really sit down and talk about whatever it is that's bugging you. Deal?" I held out my pinky, hoping she would take my bargain. Somehow I hoped Deacon would agree with this too, even though that meant he would have to come pick her up in the morning.

"Deal." Her pinky finger curled around mine, as I felt her smile and finally relax against me as we cuddled on the bed.


	8. Willing Bridges

"Morning." Deacon greeted both Scarlett and Maddie as he walked into the kitchen. Scarlett was stirring some eggs, while Maddie had a bowl of cereal in front of her.

"Mornin'" Scarlett glanced over her shoulder, while Deacon poured himself a cup of coffee. "Did you get any sleep?"

"About two hours worth."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No. I guess I just have a lot on my mind, that's all." Taking two sips of coffee, he poured the rest in the sink before placing the cup in the basin. "Would you mind taking Maddie to school today? I need to run over to the hospital and pick Daphne up."

"Sure. I'll take her to school before I heading over to my doctor's appointment."

"Great, thanks." Giving her an appreciative glance, he rounded the counter and kissed Maddie on the top of her head as he headed out the door. "I'll see you after school."

"You're pretty quiet this morning. Something you want to talk about?" Scarlett questioned as soon as the door slipped closed and it was just the two of them in the house.

"I'm worried about Daphne."

"I've noticed she's having a pretty time with your mom in the hospital."

"It's not just that-" Hesitating, Maddie pushed her bowl away from her like she was no longer hungry. "She's not eating, locking herself up in her room and she hardly says a word to me when we're home or at the hospital."

"Well, I have a feeling," Scarlett sat next to her at the counter with her plate of eggs. "that your sister is having some pretty big thoughts right now. Your mom went through some terrible things, which means both of you went through it in some way."

"Mom must have been so scared with Hockney and the car crash."

"I don't doubt that she wasn't scared. However, your mother is one of the strongest people I know, and I have a feeling not even this will bring her down."

"I guess." Bowing her head, Maddie frowned as she stared at the cereal floating in her bowl. "The thing is I don't think Daphne and I didn't truly appreciate her."

"Hey, what counts is that you recognize what she's done for both of you now." Scarlett put her hand over Maddie's in comfort as she offered her a reassuring smile. "And with your mom in the hospital, she's going to need both of you now more than ever."

"Scarlett?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you for being here. Not having my mom around has been hard, but I think we would be an even bigger mess if you weren't here."

"I'm just glad I could help." Scarlett shot her an appreciative glance as she stabbed a piece of egg with her fork. "Now eat up, or we're both going to be late."

* * *

"Mornin'." I drawled, having already been awake for several minutes since the nurse had come to check my vitals. Daphne had slept that and all the rest of the ones throughout the night up until now, which I was glad she had been able to sleep. Of course, so did Maddie when she had slept here the other night.

"Morning." Daphne stretched her legs out on the hospital bed, then rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Good." Blinking back the sleep, she gave a big yawn before curling up on her side to play with the corner of my gown. "I think it's the first time I've slept all night since-"

"Since I was in the accident.

"Yeah." Her voice grew quiet, tapering off as we sat there in bed. "I don't like sleeping at home knowing you're not there."

"You know I would kill to be home with you."

"I know." Her eyes grew sadder as she picked at the black nail polish on her thumb. "You won't be able to for a long time."

"But honey, that doesn't mean you can't tell me about your day, or the things that are going on in your life just because I'm here in the hospital. I'm still your mother and I will always be your mother no matter where I am."

"I guess. It's just lonely without seeing you in the kitchen cooking breakfast, or giving me and Maddie advice about life."

"Well, that's a first. I thought you didn't like my advice about life."

"I do." Daphne paused to collect her thoughts as she stopped picking at her nail. "I guess I used to think it didn't matter, but now there are times I want to go to you for something and I can't ask you."

"Tell you what; I know this won't solve everything, but for the time being, why don't you write anything you want to talk to me about and we can talk about it."

"Okay. I guess I can do that."

"Hey." Deacon appeared by the door, hands shoved into his pockets. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, come in. We were just talking about some girl stuff."

"Girl stuff." Deacon crossed the room with an amused look on his face, then leaned down to kiss me on the lips when "Hi."

"Hi."

"Daphne, why don't you get your backpack and wait for me outside. I need to talk to your mom for a minute." She immediately grabbed her bag off the chair and walked out of the room.

"I love you, Daph," Rayna said from her hospital bed just as Daphne got ready to walk out of the room. "Have a good day at school."

"Love you too."

"Anything you want to fill me in on with her?" He pointed down the hall where Daphne was sitting in one of the chairs in the middle of the hall. "Any insight you could give me would be wonderful."

"She's having a hard time with me being in the hospital, among other things I'm sure. We didn't really get that far before we fell asleep last night and didn't have much to talk this morning."

"I feel like they both are." Deacon pressed his lips together as he gazed at the ceiling. "When they're not here at the hospital, Daphne hides in her room and Maddie is either spending every minute on her music or with Clay."

"Okay, so we got the girls squared away for now." I teased, gazing up at him in her hospital bed. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You look as bad as I feel."

"Ouch. Let's face it; no one can sleep without you in that house." He looked torn as he looked at the watch on his wrist, knowing he had to get Daphne to school soon.

"So I've heard. Maddie said it felt empty in the house, even with you, Daphne and Scarlett. Daphne says she misses me in the kitchen and giving them advice."

"Really? I didn't think they liked your advice."

"That's what I thought too," I stated with an amused smile as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"I should get her to school."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you more."


End file.
